Rappers don't retire. They just don't.  Master P, Jay-Z, Ja Rule, Too $hort; they all were all too hungry for the game (or the money) to leave the mic.  So it was no suprise Reverend Mason Betha had returned to the music he had once been a premiere star in.  The real suprise was that it took so long; this may have been a shock about 2 years ago, but the commercial rap fans who bought as many copies of Harlem World as possible have grown up.  The new Mase seems to have as well, with his vows of no curses, no booty-shakin', and no sexually explicit rhymes.  Whether this shows maturation or a sad reach for those listeners who though Will Smith was too edgy will be seen on his junior album, Welcome Back.

The former bad boy but current Bad Boy artist opens up the album with one of the catchiest, kitschiest songs he's ever made, "Welcome Back".  His mindless, but nicely lighthearted spits and the insanely sure-to-be-stuck-in-your-head chorus makes the listener feel he's in 1998 all over again, whether that be a good thing or not.  The blatant jack of "Welcome Back Kotter"'s theme song only adds to the cheesy, earnest feel of this track.  The sad thing is that "Welcome Back" is pretty much the peak of the album; it all goes downhill from there.  "Breathe, Stretch, Shake", the official first single,  is a heaping pile of ear garbage, as P. Diddy screams through Mase's idiotic chorus, making thi s sound like a remix of every crappy song Bad Boy has ever made.  The synths which fill the song seem to be an attempt to add a little crunkiness to the track; it sounds more like a "Gettin Jiggy With It" cover made on a Casio.  "Keep It On" sounds dated, as in it belongs in 2002, in the pre-50 Cent era, before everything had to be "gangsta".  Yeah, this is one of those "for the ladies" joints, except instead of weak come-ons, there's plenty of psuedo-Christian talk here.  When he says, "Just because you got the best ride/ don't mean you the best guy/ Like a car, you can't let everybody test drive", you want to tell him to leave the abstinence anthems to Avril Lavigne.  One thing Mase may make you remember is the late 90's, which in turn may make you remember the 80's since him & Puffy liked to sample from that particular decade (by sample, I mean take melody, chorus, beats and sometimes even lyrics).  Mase wants you to remember that with "My Harlem Lullaby", as he samples the hell out of Madonna's great, late 80's hit "La Isla Bonita".  The execution actually isn't that bad, but unfortunately this song reminds you there isn't that much difference between Mase and Ma$e.  It also brings up another problem with this album: Mase's off-key and toneless singing.  Not only does it appear on "... Lullaby", but numerous times throughout the album.  He follows this with "Wasting My Time", a B2K sounding, radio-friendly piece of pop.... that actually sounds good.  Mase seems to remember how to make great melodies, as this one actually makes you forget how asinine the lyrics are.  "Gotta Survive" is Mase's attempt at Kanye-esque psuedo-conciousness.  "Money Comes & Goes" is pretty much the antithesis of what he was all about in 1999, except one thing: the music still sounds bad.  "Into What U Say" sounds like a beat leftover trying to make "...Shake".  Yeah, it's that bad.  It actually incorporates the old "throw your hands in the air" cliche in it's hook.  Mase decides to put us out of our misery by finishing the album with "Do U Remember".  It actually has the album's first genuinely good beat; too bad he ruins it with his Dipset-biting rhyme scheme.

It seemed inevitable that Reverend Betha would be back, but the world ('s ears) wasn't prepared for this.  In 1999, when Mase left, his album Double Up was released after he was already gone.  The critics and fans slammed it, saying there was no way it could ever get any worse.  I guess through God, all things are possible.

iPod Worthy: "Welcome Back", "Wasting My Time"

Not Welcome Back into Headphones: Everything Else

Overall: 1 out of Six Shots

(Writer's Note: This review is not aimed at making fun of or denouncing anyone's religous beliefs.  It's just here to show how exceedingly bad this album is.)